Sweet Crying Crocuses

wereallcurioushere12:

transandrophobiatruther:

The narrative that a “real” trans person would have shown “signs” of being trans at a young age really needs to die. How do you even measure that? A lot of kids didn’t have the opportunity to experiment outside of assigned gender roles, sometimes because they didn’t know it was a possibility, sometimes because they weren’t allowed to. Even if a child expressed discomfort in their assigned gender, a parent or other adult may have forced them to suppress it, or may deny that it ever happened at all. A good number of trans people also lean heavily into gender stereotypes and gender norms prior to coming out in attempt to suppress it themselves, even if no one in their life has forced them to do so. Also…people change. Gender can be fluid. Maybe as a kid you felt content with your assigned gender at birth, but grew uncomfortable with it as you grew older. There is no way to measure or prove that someone is trans.

Good post

(via shizuumi151)

librarycards:

librarycards:

I think what’s important to remember about fatphobia is that it’s most damning consequences (the brutal abuse and death of fat people) serve to reinforce its structuring logics (that fat people are always and already dying / evidence of societal&personal decline).

the work of undoing fatphobia thus is both pointing out the hypocrisy of a medical industry that has the audacity to call fat people an “epidemic” while actively hastening their deaths, AND about understanding the broader discourses of blame and unworthiness that allow institutions to commit murder while swearing that victims did it to themselves.

Just want to add real quick: if you are fat and have experienced medical abuse/neglect, it is not your fault. Never. Not even if you’re “unhealthy.” No one deserves abuse. Not from doctors or anyone else. The existence of medical violence is a symptom of systemic fatphobia, white supremacy, ableism, and cisheterosexism.

You have done nothing wrong. Doctors have wronged you.

(via sabraeal)

amygdalae:

Get rid of all private jets. Make celebrities ride in normal planes I think it’d keep their humanity from disintegrating as fast

(via sabraeal)

bedupolker:

Gamefreak please give us some starters that stay Creatures

(via shizuumi151)

oranaro:

wizardpotions:

pacmastermeow:

aletheiawriting:

My only real and valid writing tip is that you google every word you make up for your fantasy stories. That’s It

there won’t be any results though because you just made it up

One time I made up a name for a character and after googling it discovered it was a Zimbabwean slur

(via sabraeal)

timemachineyeah:

timemachineyeah:

I think there’s an argument to be made that protecting the children from relatively tame shadows of adults concepts actually makes things worse for them.

Like nothing is worse for me as an adult than the entirely unwarranted and unwanted sense of fear or scandalization from perfectly common stuff. And I don’t blame some wonderful TV show for using the word “fuck” or showing a nipple. My responses to those things are entirely constructed and cultural, and those shows are often doing me a kindness by giving me a context in which to safely re-examine them and my relationship to them.

And I just think actually there were a lot more opportunities to have a well adjusted outlook on life for the kids whose parents just told them what fuck meant.

[@dontbopthebunny reply: Will you give another example of what you mean, please?]

I can do my best. I don’t know if you are just looking for simple examples. I don’t think this is a simple one-to-one direct causation thing, where there are simple rules you can make for what is or isn’t appropriate to discuss with kids when and if you follow them your kid will grow up mentally healthy and if you don’t you’ve traumatized them forever.

But, for example, when I was in sixth grade I had a friend for the first half of the schoolyear who was in trouble.

I don’t even remember her last name at this point, and I was an incredibly sheltered eleven-year-old. So I genuinely cannot tell you what was going on. I can tell you something wasn’t right. Something with an older boyfriend and her divorced parents and stepdad? Something awful that I did not understand and did not know how to communicate.

Something she didn’t tell a lot of people about, because it was a secret.

And I can’t tell you how it ends. I don’t know what happened to her. She disappeared from school after winter break and never came back.

I can tell you that on the two occasions I tried to talk to adults about it during our friendship, their first instinct was to protect me at the exclusion of her. The reaction was very much one of, whatever she is telling you, you shouldn’t be learning about that, and it doesn’t sound safe for you to be her friend, and I don’t know if she’s a good influence, and I am scared for you - the one who isn’t being abused and is so sheltered she doesn’t know how to recognize even the most basic signs about her friend. I’m not even sure they recognized this was probably some kind of abuse situation.

All they heard was an eleven-year old bringing up topics that sound like they might have something to do with sex or drugs and that’s inappropriate. You’re too young for that, and your friends are too, so if they are talking about it they are bad friends.

But here’s the thing! Not only was she in more danger because of adults felt more inclined to protect this wealthier girl from a stable family at this other girl’s expense, I was in more danger too! I had no idea how to even think of what she told me. I barely understood sex existed. And my understanding of dangerous adults was entirely based around relatively useless Stranger Danger training. Because adults felt inclined to warn me of the relatively unlikely danger of some random person asking me into a van, but not the much more likely and actively present danger of possibly my friend’s parents being sexual predators or abusers of some kind.

If I hadn’t been made to feel like I was maybe inviting Satan into my life by even knowing what sex was, maybe I could’ve better understood what my friend was trying to tell me. Maybe I could’ve better asked for help. And if the adult community around me had been more focused on listening to children and less on “protecting” them, maybe they could’ve actually protected someone.

My genuine feeling is that if a kid is old enough to ask, they are old enough to be given an honest answer (at a level they can understand). Even if the answer is sad, scary, or even traumatizing. I think it’s fine to say, “the answer is scary, would you like to know, or would you just like to know Mom has it handled and it will be okay?” - and if the kid insists on knowing, try to tell them in safe and nonjudgmental environment.

We actually put children at an incredible disadvantage by labeling them “innocent and pure”. Children, thank goodness, are no such thing. Children are feral little creatures who were born to survive. When I worked in daycare the kids favorite game was eating babies - they would stick dolls in the toy oven and microwave, they would SET IMAGINARY TABLES AND HAVE IMAGINARY FEASTS with an infant doll as the main entree. They thought this was hilarious.

You are not going to be able to keep trauma from your children. You are not going to be able to keep your children from trauma. You can only choose how much support you give them through trauma.

I also feel like sometimes we generate trauma by trying to separate ourselves, our society, and our children from their fleshy mortal reality. Even secular people in America like to conceptualize a person as having a kind of True Moral self, the SuperEgo is the Ideal You, that you must strive for. The “temptations” of the flesh as things to be overcome. Hunger, violent urges, lust, illness. These are external forces acting on us, not regular features of being human. Not just, like, things. That we feel. That are normal. That, yes, we need to deal with and not turn into problems for other people, but are not themselves things we need to be “protected” from experiencing or knowing about or talking about.

But the hide and deny and lie and “protect” version of teaching kids about these concepts - like foreign invaders instead of native features - hurts kids. If your kid is not supposed to know things they know, not be curious about things they are curious about, not think the things they think or feel the things they feel, they are going to be traumatized by their own normal thoughts and feelings. You generated the trauma where there was none.

All you’re doing by telling your kid that Fido moved to a nice farm upstate where he’s happy is arresting their development, denying them the chance to learn how to conceptualize the world as it is, and how to manage and care for themselves in it.

Kids are violent. They bite and push and shove. Kids are sexual. Sometimes infants get boners. (I have seen a one-year-old’s boner while changing a diaper! It’s awkward!!!! It’s so awkward!!! But it shouldn’t be, because it’s natural and it’s not sexual in the way adults are sexual. At that age, you ignore it. No need to give a one year old a shame complex). Sometimes toddlers masturbate! And that’s a normal thing for them to do! They need to be taught manners about it, but they aren’t doing anything wrong. Kids can experience loss and trauma. They get in car accidents, their friends can get cancer, they will experience bad things that are too big for them to deal with.

This isn’t me saying “So go out and expose your three year old to the most fucked up shit you can think of.” Do not do that. Please still monitor what they’re watching, please watch how you talk around them, please still carefully introduce them to ideas at a level they can understand.

This is me saying, I think most of the push to “protect” kids is based around what adults wish wasn’t true for them, as if pretending and wishing can somehow make it so for the next generation. If I never tell my kid about abuse, they will get to live in a world where abuse doesn’t exist. But that’s not what happens! Now they just live in a world where abuse exists and they can’t recognize it and are ashamed to ask for help!

And this kind of fragile insulated approach to child-rearing is also just, like, incredibly classist and white. It’s not about protecting everyone’s sense of safety. No one cared about protecting Ruby Bridges, but now white parents panic about teaching their kids her name. White parents pull their kids out from learning about The Holocaust and slavery. They use the idea of protecting their kids from topics are “scary” or “upsetting” as a way to protect their child’s, and so their own, sense of privilege and entitlement. They aren’t worried about their kids. They are worried about themselves.

And ironically these kind of guarded tower approaches to childcare can actually create trauma out of the innocuous. Not all discomfort is equal. Yeah, it’ll probably be a bit awkward for everyone when your kid asks where babies come from, but that’s certainly going to be less traumatic than them learning when they’re fifteen and pregnant.

“Protect the children” is far too often a dogwhistle that means anything from

1) I want to be able to control my children through shame

2) I want to be able to plug my ears and ignore systemic injustice

3) I want to oppress this group of people and can exploit the idea of children to do so

4) I want to protect myself from my children’s judgment

5) I myself have not healthily come to terms with the ideas and realities I am now expected to guide my children through, and I do not want to work on myself

Taking care of children is obviously a hugely important thing to do. And we’re only just figuring out what is and isn’t good for them. We are so new to actually learning the best practices for raising safe and healthy kids.

IDK. If you’re going to study how to rear healthy human children, I think you first need to acknowledge what a human is, and accept that with compassion and understanding. And a human is a hungry, sometimes horny, complex social animal, mortal and flesh as all animals are.

Honestly I think coming to terms with that reality, that we are physical and irrational and one day we will die, is also a huge trauma we need to cope with as a society across all aspects of life. Not just child-rearing. But how are your kids supposed to learn to best navigate that reality if you yourself cannot face it?

(via diskingoferebor)

robotsandfrippary:

salty-red-mage:

dicapito2-deactivated20230424:

To anyone who’s thinking this way

alternate take on “But I did everything right!”- people who say that are not moralizing.  They’re lamenting.  

They denied themselves things they wanted to do, like going out or not wearing a hot, uncomfortable mask, or not seeing the people they love for important events- including funerals. And now they are sick.  They gave up the things they wanted and they’re still sick and they’re exhausted by all of it.

anytime we try our best it is crushing to still fail because of what feels like the whim of the universe or worse, someone else not being careful.  It’s okay to be angry about it.  

(via sabraeal)

3hobbitsinatrenchcoat:

thundergrace:

thundergrace:

thundergrace:

I…I don’t know????

Originally posted by hammytotherescue

Originally posted by xrannet

If ever I were gonna believe in an AI invasion conspiracy, this neural network-esque non-sequitur-spitter would just about convince me.

(via diskingoferebor)

roach-works:

vaspider:

the-home-kvetch:

trashcanpun:

lunacorva:

nakedinasnowsuit:

evieplease:

teaboot:

strengthins0lidarity:

feministism:

Fun things they don’t teach you in sex ed.

Talcum powder has asbestos in it. Has for years. Leave it be

This is all FAR more useful education than ‘Having unmarried sex while female makes you a dirty slut’ .

There are a lot of male folks who follow me but don’t know these things. It’s good to know all of this! Just as your partner should want to know about the intricacies of your plumbing, you should care about this.

Spreading this for general health tips.

for trans guys who haven’t transitioned yet and even then

Here’s a thing a lot of people don’t know:

You can be allergic to condoms and you can be allergic to semen.

There are polyurethane condoms if you’re allergic to latex or your partner is. Lots of people claim to have a latex allergy to avoid condoms, so it’s good to have polyurethane condoms on hand in case someone tries that.

If you find yourself getting really red and irritated after sex without a condom and you know it’s not an STD or yeast infection, have your partner orgasm somewhere else on your body and watch for a rash. It’s rare, but it can happen and many people resort to douching or unsafe cleaning instead of addressing the problem. This is fixed with condoms.

You can use corn starch or a version of it like Lady Anti-Monkey Butt (the “lady” version has calamine in it, which is a miracle on irritated skin) on your butt and chub rub but try not to it in your actual labia, any sugars in your self-lubricating bits can contribute to yeast infections.

Don’t use any powder if your skin is broken or bleeding, though. If you nicked yourself with a razor or whatever, wait until there’s an actual scab there.

for trans men:

going on HRT can change the amount and also scent of your discharge and lubrication. sometimes you will get more, like, a lot more! sometimes you won’t. it’s a mystery, but also nothing to really worry over unless things specifically smell bad, which indicates an infection.

also, your clit and vulva change shape, which combined with extra discharge can increase your risk of irritation and, again, yeast or bacterial infection. you should be prepared to try out new underwear until you find something that doesn’t chafe.

(via sabraeal)

tuulikki:

ocdnatural-deactivated20220809:

europe doesn’t exist if you don’t believe in it btw

But…that’d be Africa, though.

(via shizuumi151)

strangelingincarnate:

iamtrashofthetrashiestorder:

beggars-opera:

raevenlywrites:

random-nerd-queer:

stevviefox:

heart-sprout:

orionsbelts:

orionsbelts:

orionsbelts:

all video games should have a “I’m shit at video games but I’m curious about the story and I don’t want to watch a let’s play” mode

I am

I made this post because I am disabled and no matter how much I practice there are some games I will never be able to play because I physically cannot move my fingers the way you have to and the responses to this post from other disabled people, people who grew up unable to play video games, and people who just aren’t very good at them has been extremely enthusiastically positive, while people who apparently can’t conceive of the idea that some people will never be good at gaming condescendingly comment, tag or send me asks telling me to try easy mode or to get good despite the fact that the feature I’m describing already exists in some games and mods. if you’re part of the latter group, consider that some of us can not ever be good at video games and we still deserve to be able to participate and have fun

Ok, real talk, if you play PC games I use a program called Wemod that has settings for almost every game ever and you can change them to suit your needs

Unlimited health? one hit kill? unlimited items?

They can’t mod multiplayer games, but every genre of game imaginable is on Wemod so I use it for everything from stardew valley, subnautica, hades, farming sim and more!

It mods the games to your level of ease without needing to mess with any files or get deep into webpages for mods yourself

It is a life changer

FYI ⬆️⬆️⬆️

Only passing along as the only games I play are on my phone.

Get an older sibling and have them play the game and you watch

One, this is older siblings who watch younger siblings play erasure, two that’s not the point. People deserve to enjoy the experience of playing a game for themselves. Watching someone play is fun. Playing yourself is a different kind of fun.

There are so many reasons why someone wouldn’t want to be challenged by a game, and it’s ridiculous that people can’t fathom someone requiring a different gameplay than themselves. 

Back in the dark ages when I was a kid and we got our first computer, my dad noticed that I was sad because I wanted to play computer games like him, so he would let me play his games in god mode. Should a five year old have been playing Ultimate Doom? Absolutely not. Did I enjoy the shit out of it, particularly the part where I couldn’t die and could just wander around aimlessly machine gunning demons to death with no real goal in mind? Hell yes.

Also, no one should have to explain the reason they want to play the game in god mode.

That is absolutely none of your business, if someone wants to play the game with max items, weapons, armor, money etc., whatever reason they’re playing that way for. YOU, the anon on the internet have no business knowing or shitting on how they play. It’s THEIR game, and THEIR gameplay experience. and I hope OP was able to play their game the way they wanted to without being stymied by the games mechanics.

Oh shit, I have something for this!

Can I Play That?

Can I Play That provides accessibility focused game reviews and news. For Disabled Gamers, By Disabled Gamers.

Can I Play That?

Can I Play That? is a fantastic resource for fellow disabled folks who want to play video games, as well as non-disabled video game devs who want to make their games more accessible. I highly recommend checking it out!

(via shizuumi151)

drinkyourjuiceshelby:

beardedmrbean:

Just dudes bein bros

(via shizuumi151)

ithrowshoesatconservatives:

apas-95:

apas-95:

This is just theft. Legitimately disgusting, the level of disrespect.

The money going into ‘humanitarian relief’ (however much doesn’t go into lining the pockets of US NGOs) will be spent making sure that the newly independent Afghanistan remains subservient to the US. With their own money, Afghanistan could buy tractors. With humanitarian aid, they will get grain.

They will have no agriculture, and therefore no economy, that could stand independent of the US.

i think this quote from thomas sankara is appropriate here

(via shizuumi151)

polyhorde:

advanced-procrastination:

anghraine:

lisa-franck:

gregthyst-is-real:

cannibal-rainbow:

“they” (1 word) is shorter than “he or she” (3 words)

“they” is more inclusive than “he/she”

“themself” flows more naturally than “him or herself”

“they” is less clunky than “(s)he”

it’s time to replace the awkward “she or he”

“hey can you go ask they what does they want for dinner, and when is they coming over to watch movies with they?”

“Hey, can you go ask them what they want for dinner, and when they’re coming over to watch movies?”

Step one is learning how to talk like a human person.

Friendly reminder:

“I shouldn’t like to punish anyone, even if they’d done me wrong.” —George Eliot, The Mill on the Floss (1860)

“A person can’t help their birth.” —William Thackeray, Vanity Fair (1848)

“But to expose the former faults of any person, without knowing what their present feelings were, seemed unjustifiable.” —Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice (1813)

“Every Fool can do as they’re bid.” —Jonathan Swift, Polite Conversation (1738)

“So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.” —King James Bible, Matthew 18:35 (transl. 1611)

“God send every one their heart’s desire!” —William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing (~1600)

“Now this king did keepe a great house, that euerie body might come and take their meat freely.” —Sir Philip Sidney, the Arcadia (1580)

“If … a psalme scape any person, or a lesson, or els yt they omyt one verse or twayne…” —William Bonde, The Pylgrimage of Perfection (1526)

“And whoso fyndeth hym out of swich blame, / They wol come up and offre a Goddés name” —Geoffrey Chaucer, The Pardoner’s Tale (~1380)

“þan hastely hiȝed eche wiȝt on hors & on fote, / huntyng wiȝt houndes alle heie wodes, / til þei neyȝþed so neiȝh to nymphe þe soþe [Then hastily hied each person on horse and on foot / hunting with hounds all the high woods / ‘til they came so near, to tell the truth]” —William and the Werwolf (transl. ~1350-1375)

“Bath ware made sun and mon, / Aiþer wit þer ouen light [Both were made sun and moon / Either with their own light]” —Cursor Mundi (~1325)

We’ve been using they/them/their pronouns to indicate a person with unspecified gender for a long ass fucking time. The only reason it’s become a big issue lately is because it can be used as a semi-respectful term for trans and non-binary folks and we can’t have that can we

These fucks are literally trying to change our language to hurt trans/nb folks, and claiming that’s just the way its always been

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Singular “they” predates

Singular “you”

(via shizuumi151)

orteil42:

i-exist-because-reasons:

you KICK blorbo? you kick blorbo like the plinko? oh! oh! eeby deeby for glup shitto! eeby deeby for glup shitto for one thousand years!

i’m blaming all of you for the abominable fact that i can understand this post

(via shizuumi151)